Evoque keyed, bumper to bumper

Sadly as titled. Noticed on Thursday someone has keyed all up the side on my Evoque. Ironically I got rid of my RRS because I thought this was likely with a big 4x4.
They got every panel down to the primer. As keying goes, they've done a good job. At least only one side.
Annoying as car is only 9 months old

Jealous bastards. I'd like to key their face down to the bone.

That's the worse bit isn't it. If it had been nicked at least you'd think they had good taste in cars, but keying seems so mindless.